Life Is Throwing Lovely Gifts At Me!

Welcome 2010!! I hope you will be as exciting as 2009 was.

I loved 2009! It was the most favourite year of my life so far; the year when I made it to one of my dream B-Schools; the year when I started a very exciting journey of Business education. The year when I met (again) the person with whom I am destined to spend the rest of my life. Yes, I am officially engaged to Sid now. You can congratulate us! :D

My vacations in India were too beautiful but too short. Going back home for 12 days after 5 months in this cold and different country was like months of spiritual and emotional healing. I hogged on food, I shopped when I had time, I met Sid's parents and he met mine. It cudn't have been better but too soon it was time to leave.

I was scared before meeting his family for the first time. How would it go? Would they like me? Would they like my family? Would my family like them and Sid? Would we have anything in common with them? But as it turned out, all my fears were just stupid. It went fabulously well, I couldn't have asked for anything better. They loved me, and my family loved Sid! I am in love with Sid's beautiful home and his adorable family. The next day when they came to my home, our families quietly suggested to us to make it official. So, there was a little exchange of gifts and voila, we were engaged! It was a beautiful evening and I keep reliving it through pictures that were clicked.

We both are on top of the world and have many dreams, hopes and plans. There are many decisions to be made. Whether I will move to Bangalore or he will move to Belgium? Whether we should immediately start working on our business plans or just continue with boring work lives for a while? Whether I should target consulting companies or investment banks? Whether we should get married in November or February of next year? Phew!

However, all said and done, we are both looking forward to it, and just can't wait to be with each other. It was difficult to say goodbye at the airport this time. At that moment, I felt that I don't want to leave, at least not so soon. I am glad that my family organized it in such a way that Sid could come with us to the airport when I was leaving. I hugged Mom and Dad and shook hands with Sid. I almost had tears in my eyes when he clasped my hand with both of his and looked into my eyes and simply said, "Take Care". I kept looking back at him until the last moment and he always smiled back. No, I did not cry before him but I did cry during the flight. I am this emotional fool at times, who can sob away while staring out of the window into nothingness as a plane flies 10,000 feet above ground. Sigh....., love can make you silly ;)

As an extra beautiful surprise in life, I received a 'Stylish Blogger Award' from Small Town Girl. Thanks sweetheart, you are one of my favourite bloggers and receiving an award from you feels great! This award is doubly special as it is my first and will always be cherished.

Counting Days

No matter where you are in the world, there's one feeling that stays the same across cultures and countries. The feeling that you get when exams are over!!

I used to feel the same way in High School, in Engineering, and now even in MBA. All my classmates here feel the same way. That feeling of relief, and of having all the time in the world to do whatever you please. Right after the last exam, a Chilean classmate mentioned to me, "Now I have an appointment with my pillow!" And I smiled.

So, the first part of our MBA is done, that constitues one-third of the program. I don't want to comment on how I did in the exams, they are over, and that's a relief. We have a 4 day residential seminar starting from 15th December and then holidays!! Wooohoooo!!!

I shopped last evening and realised how beautiful the streets looked because of all the decorations for Christmas. I hadn't been out of my studio and school since last some days, and hadn't realised that the Christmas season is already upon us.

I am counting days for going back to India. While eating pizza last night for dinner, I almost cried thinking of Mom's cooking and all the food that I will eat when I reach home. I am tired of the Belgian, Thai and Turkish food here and even of my own cooking. I know that I will hog and gain weight at home, but who cares!

Siddharth has booked his tickets for Delhi and I can't wait to see him again. This will only be the second time since we have grown up that I will meet him! Sounds unbelievable even to myself, but it's true. Surprisingly, I never feel that I have met him just once. Perhaps because I know him since I was a 6 year old and because I see him on Skype everyday. When I tell our little story to my women friends here, they get the shock of their lives. "You have met him just once since you grew up! And you really started talking to each other only six months back, out of which you have been in Belgium for four months! Are you sure you want to marry him???" If I use all that logic, I know I would never suggest someone else to do what I am doing. But truly, I have never been so sure of anything in my life. Yes, I do want to marry him :)

Ah! It's time to get ready and head to the shopping streets! It's Christmas season and I wanna shop!!

The Four-Legged Cupid

It was not long since they had moved to the new place. She loved it; she thought she could call it her own. He loved it; the view from the 14th floor balcony was mesmerizing. They still did not have a double bed. Mattresses on the floor with loads of cushions and pillows made a makeshift arrangement, and they were happy with it.
It was a hot summer Sunday afternoon.

He- This mattress feels so hot. I can't sleep.
She- Get the chatayi from storeroom and sleep on that.
He- hmmm.. yeah.. good idea.

He gets up, opens the storeroom door, and looks back at her. She is still lying on the mattress, face down, eyes closed.

She- Beware of that lizard in the storeroom. It is so fat that it threatens to fall on one's head at any moment.
He- Unlike you, I am not scared of lizards.
She- Well then, get rid of it.
He- I will when I see it. Right now, it is not in the storeroom.
She- uh..huh..

He is back with the folded chatayi. Contemplates a moment for the best place to spread it. His eyes fall on her, lying on her stomach at the very corner of the mattress. He smiles. Next to her is the best place.

Holding one end of the chatayi, he lets it roll on the ground next to her.
Something jumps on her from the folds of the chatayi.
She shrieks, his eyes dart on her.
A lizard runs the full length of her terrified, shaking body and scurries across the floor to the nearest wall.

He- Oh shit!

Her screams don't stop. He is frozen. She does not turn, does not move at all, and just keeps yelling his name.
Letting the chatayi drop in a heap on the floor, he jumps on the mattress to lie down beside her. He hugs her and she clutches at him, as if for her life.
She- I hate you

He- I am sorry kid. I love you.

Her body is still shaking with suppressed sobs and fear.
His body shakes with suppressed laughter and he hugs her tighter.

The afternoon doesn't seem unbearably hot anymore.

My Affair With A Romance Language

It has been long since I was on blogosphere and I admit that there were a couple of times since I last posted when I started writing but then just gave up. I blame it on multiple factors, but Delhi heat takes the biggest share of blame. I just hate this time in Delhi. The dry and scorching weather gets me into depression, and I should add here, that it really takes a lot to get ME into depression. Going outdoors is suicidal these days, even in evenings. The only places to hang out are malls, and it gets intensely boring to hang out exclusively at malls. With all my social life limited to Facebook and French classes, there was not much to talk about. Moreover, I was in a lazy, introspective phase.

I promised last time that I would blog about my French classes, as they are a lot of fun. They still are fun and I love my time there. The teacher is nice; she gives good material, and teaches well. I have two more students in class with me (both men), so it is a small and intimate class. We get many opportunities to laugh because we keep making silly mistakes that are at times HILARIOUS. One such instance that comes to my mind is of the day when Swati (our teacher) asked me to make a sentence that starts with 'Je voudrais...' (I would like...) It was our third or fourth class and I was still struggling immensely with vocabulary. I started to say something but the sentence that popped out of my mouth was "Je voudrais un bon homme." (I would like a nice man.) Shucks! That was followed by a shocked second and then peals of laughter from everybody including me. The other two students in the class specially laughed loud at that. Embarrassing, I know. But trust me, that's nothing compared to the mistakes that THEY make.

I think it's time to describe the other two students in my class. 'A' seems like a pretty boring guy and he is the one who struggles the most in our classes. It has now got to the extent where the rest of us feel he wastes the time of the class because he just doesn't understand things. Whatever job 'A' is doing, it keeps him busy in some health related seminars these days. He comes to the classes right after work, travelling from CP to Gurgaon. I appreciate his dedication, especially in this weather. He turned up a little late during one of the classes. We looked up as he entered the room to join us. The first thing that I noticed about him on that day was that he was wearing a big, round, red badge, which said "Loose weight now, Ask me how" in shining white letters. Before I could stop myself, I pointed to the eye-catching badge and asked him, "What is that?" His response, "Oh, I forgot to take that off after the seminar." WTF? He traveled all the way from CP to Gurgaon and then walked into the class wearing that. I wonder how many people asked him tips for loosing weight that day.

I call the other guy "My grey eyed Ipod" or The ipod for short (this nick suggested by GO). He has beautiful grey eyes but at times irritating manners. He sings really well, calls me nearly everyday, and hangs up only after singing me a song or two. I know it is funny, but I admit that I enjoy it. I mean how many men these days would sing you songs everyday when you are not even dating them (and nice songs at that). I know he is either too nice or too creepy and I am still trying to decide in which category to place him. He is doing well in class though and I enjoy talking to him, especially when he talks passionately of his career. Like me, he is going to start his MBA program soon but in Canada. He is intelligent, having completed his engineering from a good college and worked for a couple of years, he managed a great score at GMAT and then admission at a decent B-School. I am impressed at how informed he is about his field and at the amount of reading he is doing. From financial accounting to French vocab to oil fields in Canada, he has read up a whole lot. I am always impressed with well-informed people but at times, he intrigues me. He would at times say non-committal but suggestive things, which might mean that he is flirting. I give non-committal responses then but try to make it clear without being too obvious that I am not interested in any relationship or fling (or anything) at all at this point in my life. I just don't like it when men try to play it so safe that they stand neither here nor there; I think that's not being man enough. Of course, I might be wrong with the whole thing, it might be just premature alarm bells ringing in my head, and therefore currently I just brush aside such things and ignore. However, while talking, laughing, arguing, at every imaginable instant, I am watching him to try and understand where he is heading with all his talk (and songs!).

On a different note, I met my best friend Amit yesterday after more than a year and half. Although we could manage less than an hour with each other but it was totally great. I took him to TGIF (my favorite hang out) and we of course had LIITs. I haven't laughed so much in ages as I did in that hour. Friends always make you feel so good. Although Amit and I talk nearly everyday but meeting each other after that terribly long period felt really great. I am glad we could make it because in a couple of months, I would move to Europe and then I don't know when we would ever meet.

Ah! It feels wonderful, now that I have finally written this long post. I wonder why I was putting it off. There will be more to come and soon :D

Karma and Holi

A Very Happy Colorful Holy Holi To All

I am visiting my cousins in Kanpur for Holi this year, and although I have never in my life liked Kanpur, I am looking forward to celebrating Holi with my cousins. This will be my first Holi here and I have heard that Kanpur people go wild when celebrating the festival of colors. I have been singled out as today's target by cousins, brothers-in-law, nephews, and nieces alike. I know I am going to get a raw deal today :(

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My to-be-school Vlerick is constantly on my mind these days. It feels like I am infatuated with the school, and I am sure if there was any such thing as love with inanimate objects, then I would have called it the beginning of a love affair. Well, come to think of it, to my mind Vlerick is not at all an inanimate object. However, I don't want to go blah-blah about my school again because that is exactly what I am doing since many days and people around me now grab any nearby object to stuff it either in my mouth or in their ears, whichever is easier. I would just write about my love relationship with Vlerick :)

In February, I first saw its name on the 2008 Financial Times rankings and because it was in Europe, I visited the college website. It was simply love at first sight. The college campus was beautiful and the city even more so. The various stats about the college were very impressive and I knew that we were meant to be together. I had a fair idea that my chances were bleak considering the reputation of Vlerick in Europe. I nevertheless decided to give it a try. It was tough, the application, the essays et all, but the path of true love is never easy. I submitted the application and waited for some days with bated breath (just figuratively), praying throughout and asking my friends to pray for me. I think that Gods were kind and I came to know my results in 6 days flat. I am the only person out of those admitted who had the results in that unbelievably short duration. For everybody else it took more than 2 weeks. I made it, I have been accepted by my love and I can't wait for our new life together. The latest FT rankings just gave me more reason to rejoice, because Vlerick jumped up by 22 places (now ranks 75 in the world), which makes it the fastest moving-up-the-ladder school. I have to now complete the registration process to legalise our relationship and then Vlerick would be officially mine. We will live together from 1st September.

Give this couple your blessings :D

Alright, so I just demonstrated my insane infatuation but so what!

An Outburst

Is it usual human behaviour to get irritated at the drop of a hat and take it out at people who love us? Or am I the only arrogant, ungrateful, selfish, insensitive, big-mouth around?

Love scares me. Not the family kind of love, but the friends and boyfriends kind of love. I used to think until around 3 years back that I am incapable of loving someone wholeheartedly, with devotion, submissiveness, with no other feeling but love for the other person at all times. Then somebody came in my life and that kind of love did happen. It was sheer bliss; being totally, incautiously, head-over-heels in love. The feeling was new for me and I revelled in it. However, I now think that that kind of love is probably unhealthy because love takes so much priority in life that every other thing is overshadowed. Moreover, plausibly that kind of love scares the other person. Even after so much love (or maybe because of it?) that relationship did not work. I am single for almost 10 months now and I am comfortable with this single status. Nevertheless, unplanned, unintended and surprising new relationships are always waiting for you around the corner. The thing is that I am back to where I was 3 years back. I feel I am incapable of loving someone without reserve. I am too practical now to be in love, and the shortcomings and drawbacks of the relationship are glaringly visible to me. Even the shortcomings of the other person. I keep telling myself that nobody is perfect and probably I am more imperfect but, I don't want these shortcomings to be visible to me. Love hides such things, ain't it? Such unwanted details are glossed over when you are with someone you love. I have been in that kind of love so I know. Now these small discomforting details are a little too visible to me and I just can't stop myself from mentioning them to the other person, much to his dismay and discomfort. Therefore when I feel that the other person really loves me, it scares me. Loving somebody when that person can't love you back is still less painful than being loved by someone whom you can't love back. It hurts you, makes you feel guilty, makes you try hard, and at the end of it all trying never helps. I want the other person to be practical like me, I encourage him to point out my shortcomings and that of the relationship, so that I may not feel so guilty about being cruelly practical but he, being so much in love, can't see any. He even tries to justify those that I point out. It makes me wring my hands in irritation and makes me say things that I don't really want to say. He is still sweet as ever, utterly unconvinced about the impracticality of the relationship, and I feel more guilty, more irritated. It's like a vicious circle. I don't want to hurt but I end up doing exactly that. I don't want to be very practical, but I end up being exactly that.

I have heard this question many times that is it better to get married to someone whom you love or to someone who loves you. I have always heard girls saying that it is better to marry someone who loves you because you are always made to feel special. Still I can't convince myself about that. I think that won't work for me. I feel it is far better to be with someone you love, even when the other person does not love you so much in return and when it hurts like hell, than marrying someone who loves you, then hurt him when you try your best not to and then feel guilty about it. Being hurt is still better than feeling guilty. What is your take about it?

Welcome To The World - Anhad and Paavaki

Its strange how time flies and how things change. Just like while driving, the landscape keeps changing from one beautiful and picturesque view to another, the situations in life keep changing from one colourful scenario to another. It just seems like yesterday when eight of us used to live together in one flat during my engineering days. We were great pals, eight girls who knew each other's secrets and stories. Each of us went through various highs and lows, saw each other crying and breaking down, saw each other fall in love and moving on, celebrated each other's successes in exams and later in work and so on. A couple of years after graduating some of us got married, some went for higher studies and some continued working. However, now another phase of life has started, another landscape in the journey of life. Ruchi already has a beautiful daughter Pari, who is now 20 months old. Parneet was blessed with a baby girl Anhad, on 29th December and NV was blessed with a baby girl Paavaki, on 13th January. Its almost as if another gang of girls is in the making :-)

ANHAD & PAAVAKI

I used to chat with NV every day for hours. Even when she went to US with her husband our chats continued in the same fashion. It is since the day Paavaki was born that we haven't had a chat even once. She has become so busy with changing diapers, feeding the baby and taking care of her needs that she hardly gets time to sleep, therefore coming online to chat is near to impossible for her. I realise that life has changed dramatically for her and she is struggling to get used to it. I so want to meet Parneet and NV to hold and cuddle their little ones but it's not possible anymore. We are all in different cities and very busy with our lives. We just manage to send mails to each other, share snaps and keep each other updated with the latest gossip and news.

I really wish at times that all of us could be together again, along with husbands and kids. It would be great to have that sort of a reunion sometime. Sigh! Wishful thinking, that's what it is.

Craving for Isolation

Hmph!!! The last few days have been really busy. It's only now that I could get some quality time for myself. So, here I am, sipping on some hot tea, with the laptop on my lap, and typing my heart out. My sister was staying with me for a few days and I was doing all the cooking and cleaning. She was kind and considerate enough to prepare a cup of tea for me whenever I demanded; and that was it. I do the same to her whenever I visit her place :-). I have a mind to call us the wicked sisters since we are really mean to each other. However, I love that about our relationship, no boring formality when I am with my sister. I have seen some siblings who are sweeter than sugar towards each other and talk like they are in church. Yuck. I am glad my sister gives me tough competition in being mean, wicked, delightfully selfish and ready to pounce on any opportunity to fight. That's the right way to live with your siblings.

Mom and Dad arrived yesterday with almost a truckload of luggage. They have gone to Gurgaon today and will hopefully finalize an apartment out of a few shortlisted. So, I am all alone at home and enjoying these moments. Being with family is all too good but one needs some time alone for oneself. At least I do.