Kismat Konnection - A Review

Do I need to say that the movie is bad? I guess not, since most of you have probably already read the reviews. Then why am I wasting my time writing a review about it? There are two answers - First, I love movie bashing. Second, an interesting incident took place when I went to watch the movie, which I wanted to share.
I went to the movie with my friend Neelam. We snacked before the movie in the food court and Neelam was adventurous enough to leave behind her cell phone on the table. I, of course, did not notice. As it was my birthday [ :-) I love bringing it up], I was carrying a digicam in my bag, and the PVR people don't allow eatables, shopping bags and cameras inside the hall. I was stopped at the security and was asked to leave behind the camera battery at the baggage counter. We went to the baggage counter, which is 2 floors below the hall, to do as asked. We were late by the time we rushed back to the security and did not check the audi number on our tickets. The first Audi on our right had a moving neon display on top which said Kismat Konnection. We rushed inside and reached our seats smashing the toes of various people. As soon as we sat down Neelam realised she was not carrying her cell phone. After a hurried check into her bag and then mine, she grabbed my cell phone, muttered something about being back soon, and smashed some toes again to rush outside. I now concentrated on the movie which had already started. There was Shahid Kapoor looking crestfallen, Vidya Balan getting engaged to someone and I was not able to understand what was going on. I thought a flashback into the past would soon happen, to clear things. However, I waited and watched but no flashback came. There was a song and many weird characters and other stuff but no flashback. I watched for about 15 minutes till Neelam came back. She said, "Nicky this is Audi 8, we are supposed to be in Audi 6." I responded with "So what, audi 8 is screening the same movie." Neelam watched with me for a minute and said, "I think we are watching the post-intermission movie."
"What!" I gasped. We looked at each other and dashed out of the hall, smashing toes again. I had no time to yell back at people who were yelling at us. We reached audi 6, found our seats and I wondered how come those same seats were unoccupied in audi 8. Providence, I suppose. I felt so bad at missing the first 30 minutes of the movie at that time, but I can safely assume now that the first 30 minutes were not too exciting either, just like the rest of the movie.
It's an illogical, slow-paced movie, with a boring plot and lifeless characters (Ah! so many adjectives). I have seen some illogical movies, which were entertaining (like Om Shanti Om) but Kismat Konnection falls too short of the mark to call even some parts in the movie as entertaining. I always go to the movies to look at good looking people for few hours. I don't want to look at a next-door-kinda-boy (Shahid Kapur) and a next-door-kinda-girl (Vidya Balan) for 3 hours. I see too many next-door-kinda-people in day-to-day life. Vidya Balan lived up to the expectations of dressing pathetically again. Why can't she just give up trying to glam herself up? It makes her look even more, ugh, sad!
The movie revolves around Shahid Kapur who plays the role of a failure who can't do anything right to save his life. In desperation he goes to a seer, played by Juhi Chawla (who seems to have forgotten all about acting), who informs him that he would be aided by someone or something that would make him lucky. Imagine! This someone, turns out to be Vidya Balan. Whenever, she's around he gets lucky - he lands a project, he plays a great shot at Snooker - oh, leave it. He becomes friendly with this girl in order to stay lucky but she's engaged and going to leave the country after her marriage which is going to happen soon. However, she realises her fiancee is a male chauvinist pig and is getting laid by his female boss. There are other things and characters in the movie that don't deserve to be mentioned.
My advice- Don't Watch. And BTW Neelam did find her cell phone, it was with the security people in food court :-)