The New Me on Good Old Blogosphere

2 Years!! More than 2 years it has been since I wrote a post on this blog and now that I have decided to take it up again, I don't feel like the same person anymore. It seems that I am writing on someone else's blog! I changed the blog template before starting to write a new post to give it a new feel, to give it a 'me' feel and yet who am I trying to fool? I have changed dramatically in these 2 years and it is difficult to maintain any continuity on this blog now.

I am married, I am a housewife and I am pregnant!!! Phew.... better to have it out in the beginning than to create a build up. Yet few things in my life have stayed the same. I am still the happy, careless, confused and loving person that I always was and that I always (hopefully) will be.

(I have sweet-talked the hubby into taking me out for dinner tonight and hence I have time to write my come-back post and read up on what my long-lost blogger friends have been up to. Else I would have been cooking dinner at this time of the day :))

I intend to blog often now and write about how my life changed in the past 2 years, about all the nervousness and anticipation associated with being pregnant, about my exciting new life as a housewife (ha!), and my dreams and plans for the future. I guess I would blog about many other things too that I can't think of at the moment, but I hope you get the drift. I am gonna blog about my life like I used to, except that this time it is going to be about far more important and serious stuff like lunch-box recipes for the hubby...... nyah.... I am kidding!!

See you soon with a longer post. It feels good to be back.... :)

Life Is Throwing Lovely Gifts At Me!

Welcome 2010!! I hope you will be as exciting as 2009 was.

I loved 2009! It was the most favourite year of my life so far; the year when I made it to one of my dream B-Schools; the year when I started a very exciting journey of Business education. The year when I met (again) the person with whom I am destined to spend the rest of my life. Yes, I am officially engaged to Sid now. You can congratulate us! :D

My vacations in India were too beautiful but too short. Going back home for 12 days after 5 months in this cold and different country was like months of spiritual and emotional healing. I hogged on food, I shopped when I had time, I met Sid's parents and he met mine. It cudn't have been better but too soon it was time to leave.

I was scared before meeting his family for the first time. How would it go? Would they like me? Would they like my family? Would my family like them and Sid? Would we have anything in common with them? But as it turned out, all my fears were just stupid. It went fabulously well, I couldn't have asked for anything better. They loved me, and my family loved Sid! I am in love with Sid's beautiful home and his adorable family. The next day when they came to my home, our families quietly suggested to us to make it official. So, there was a little exchange of gifts and voila, we were engaged! It was a beautiful evening and I keep reliving it through pictures that were clicked.

We both are on top of the world and have many dreams, hopes and plans. There are many decisions to be made. Whether I will move to Bangalore or he will move to Belgium? Whether we should immediately start working on our business plans or just continue with boring work lives for a while? Whether I should target consulting companies or investment banks? Whether we should get married in November or February of next year? Phew!

However, all said and done, we are both looking forward to it, and just can't wait to be with each other. It was difficult to say goodbye at the airport this time. At that moment, I felt that I don't want to leave, at least not so soon. I am glad that my family organized it in such a way that Sid could come with us to the airport when I was leaving. I hugged Mom and Dad and shook hands with Sid. I almost had tears in my eyes when he clasped my hand with both of his and looked into my eyes and simply said, "Take Care". I kept looking back at him until the last moment and he always smiled back. No, I did not cry before him but I did cry during the flight. I am this emotional fool at times, who can sob away while staring out of the window into nothingness as a plane flies 10,000 feet above ground. Sigh....., love can make you silly ;)

As an extra beautiful surprise in life, I received a 'Stylish Blogger Award' from Small Town Girl. Thanks sweetheart, you are one of my favourite bloggers and receiving an award from you feels great! This award is doubly special as it is my first and will always be cherished.

Getting Graded

We have been graded for 2 subjects so far and thankfully I have scored above the class average for both Financial Accounting and Managing Across Cultures. I don't know how long would I be able to maintain that but for now, I am satisfied. I never aimed to be the topper here and I live a relaxed life, talk for hours with my boyfriend and have healthier sleeping hours compared to most of my classmates, so I feel I am good with the grades :)

I used to have this feeling a couple of months back that Siddharth and I would just spoil each other's professional lives because we spend so much time on Skype and phone. However, I am happy that we are both managing quite well. My entire class knows that I talk to my boyfriend for hours at a stretch on Skype, and they get quite shocked about the fact that I manage to find so much time for him. Sid is doing great in juggling his job and Phd. preparation and IELTS preparation and French classes and gym etc. Trust me, his job is not easy. Poor guy is living the dreaded post MBA work life, in which one works like an ass ;) But I never feel starved of attention from him, it is just perfect. Touchwood! :)

At Vlerick, we work in many teams for various group projects and reports in different subjects. Some groups are great and others... well.. not so great! Sometimes you find one or more team members annoying and impossible to work with but I feel that it is part of our learning. We never get to choose our colleagues in work situations, so we should know how to work best in a group. Moreover, the grades of every individual depend on the final product of the group work, so you just can't take it casually. I am glad that my group for Entrepreneurship is just awesome. It is one of the longest and biggest projects and we have to come up with a business plan and a marketing plan and present it to a jury. We were able to choose our group members for this project but it wasn't so easy to do that. For starters, it was difficult to decide what criteria we should take into account while considering possible business plan partners. I mean, whether to look at people's profiles and pick people from useful backgrounds like Marketing, Finance, IT (if you are doing an IT project), or whether to just see if I was comfortable working with someone. I honestly feel that for this project, comfort and understanding matters more than backgrounds. We can come up with a good marketing strategy even if we don't have a marketing professional amongst us, but we can never put our hearts to a project where we don't like working with others. So, my team has ended up as being a great team and I am very happy with the progress so far. We managed to finalise and mutually agree upon a business idea (many other groups haven't yet finalised an idea) and we have started our research based on it. The idea looks so good for now that we can even consider it as a real entrepreneurship opportunity after MBA. Let's see how it shapes up!

On Saturday, our Chilean group member invited us to his home in Brussels for a team meeting followed by some Chilean food and wine. Everybody knows that Chilean wines are some of the best in the world, so it was of course a tempting offer. Our friend and his wife offered us tortillas with a choice of many spreads (I specially loved the Avocado spread) and various fillings. I ate 2 rolls and they were super delicious. The Chilean wine lived up to its name and I had 2 glasses of red wine with dinner. Now, after dinner our friend told us about a whiskey called Pisco. It is very popular in Chile and if mixed with Coke, it is called Piscola (which I think is a funny name). I am no fan of whiskies but this one was very smooth and I really liked it mixed with Cola and Ice. The train ride back home to Leuven was easy after that, because I couldn't feel the cold at all, thanks to Pisco!

Life is going good I feel. I am looking forward to 19th December, when I will take my flight to Delhi. However, we will have exams before that during the second week of December :(

Send in your wishes folks, they always work for me :)

Love,

Nicky

Autumn Break

If I ever had any doubts about the ability of time to fly, they have been put to rest now. It's been only some time that I came to Belgium, and I am already booking tickets for Delhi and looking forward to my winter vacation. Yeah folks, I will be in Delhi for Christmas and New Year's! I can't wait for it and guess what I am missing most in Leuven?? South Indian Food! Yeah, that's surprising for me too. Not family, not friends, not 'ghar ka khana', but I am missing good old Idli, Sambhar and Dosa here. Would anybody believe that? Maybe because that is the only thing that I could not find here at all so far. I am regularly in touch with family and friends, I cook my own 'Indian' meals but Idli-Sambhar is something that is just not to be found in our little town :(

We don't have any classes for this entire week and I am enjoying the break. Talking for hours with Siddharth, cleaning every minute inch of my studio, listening to songs, cooking nice meals etc. Of course I will also catch up on all the subjects where I am lagging behind and prepare for projects and exams, but that is secondary priority for this week.

Our classes have been progressing at a break-neck speed as usual and I did not even realise when subjects like Leadership, Human Resource Management, Corporate Social Responsibility, Business and Law, and Entrepreneurship zoomed past us. The learning in each was immense and I am in awe of most of our professors here. For example, our Business and Law professor started the course with us by distributing some cases and questions to test our ethics and knowledge about Law. In the first class he told us jokingly that the purpose of his course was to keep us out of jail. The entire class laughed but when he discussed our answers to the cases and questions, we realised how unethical, hypocritical and unaware of the Law we were. If we indeed did those things in real corporate world, we would have been put in jail, and all the while we thought that we were being fair!! I do believe my professor's joke now and realise how difficult ethical choices are in the real world. Wow, I am already beginning to talk like an MBA!

Diwali came and went and I did not light a single cracker. I badly missed home during Diwali but thankfully I have very nice classmates. A chinese classmate called us home for tea on Diwali afternoon and we had dinner at an Indian friend's place. His wife had prepared a delicious Indian meal for us, which we ate while watching the classic 'Jaane Bhi Do Yaaro'. We also played cards, because Diwali without gambling is utterly boring. I explained the concept of Diwali to many of our classmates who wanted to know the story behind the festival and why and how we celebrate it. I hope I gave them the correct version of the story, but anyway they would never know the difference :)

On the day after Diwali we visited a Krishna temple called Radhadesh in Ardenne. It is a beautiful place with rolling hills and dense forests. After the prayer ceremony at the temple we took a walk in the woods and it felt like going back to nature and connecting with the Supreme.

The second pic is of the castle in which the temple is situated.

I hope that after this one week break, I will emerge refreshed and full of energy, specially because it is Autumn and it is so beautiful here. I love taking walks in the park close to my studio and will post pics of the beautiful park soon.

Simply Love

How does it feel when you fall in love with someone who was your classmate 20 years ago, when you were 6 years old?

How does it feel when you fall in love with someone who has come back into your life after 13 years of separation?

It feels like a fairy tale, nothing less.

We are opposites in many ways and yet so similar. He was always the intelligent guy of class, while I was hardly ever concerned about studies. He was the class joker and I used to be sophisticated. He is a powerhouse of energy and enthusiasm, while I am laid back. He is a Cancer and I am a Leo :)

And yet, we fill so many voids in each other's life; we have the same past, we have shared our childhood, we know each other's roots.

I am happy!! Unabashedly, wilfully, tremendously happy!!

We are in love.

Life as a MBA student in Belgium

My life has changed. I have changed. And I am very happy!!

Amidst all the excitement and millions of things to do to adjust to the new life, my blog was neglected. It is the easiest thing to neglect and so it is neglected first of all. When I started getting comments and messages from some blogger friends about my whereabouts, I decided that it indeed has been a really long time and I should better blog about my new life.

I don't know where to start. I have been in Belgium for a month now and many things have happened since then. Mom and Dad came with me to Belgium to drop me here and then to go on a short Europe trip. I am immensely glad and thankful to them for coming with me because with all my luggage (almost 60 Kgs), I would have broken a few bones and all my suitcases before reaching my destination. Leuven is a small town, at a distance of 30 mins train ride from Brussels. I love the town. It is only 3 Kms in radius! You can see the entire town in half a day. And because it is a student town, you can see students and university buildings everywhere. It is almost like one huge campus.

That is the Town Hall in Leuven. A beautiful building at the heart of the town.

The weather here is gray most of the time and it rains almost every second or third day. The two awesome things about Belgium are its beer and waffles. They have hundreds of varieties of Beer in Belgium. I knew about Leuven's beer connection before coming here and that people here love drinking beer but I had no idea that someone like me who hates it would become an ardent beer fan. Waffles have a similar story. I have never had a sweet tooth but the sight and smell of a freshly baked waffle can make anyone drool. In Brussels I tried a just-baked waffle topped with strawberries and chocolate sauce. I have no words to describe how good it was.

That was my first beer in Belgium!

Now about the MBA life - My classes started on 1st September, so I have been into the program for 17 days now. The first week was all about lunches, dinners, drinks with classmates and alumni, getting to know the school, and even a party at the Dean's house (and what a party!). It was fun at the beginning and before we knew it, the grind started. In just 2 weeks, we have completed 3 subjects!! From the very first day of classes, I have been immersed in team assignments, tutorials, reading for the next day's classes, networking and trying to stay in touch with friends and family back in India. I did not realise when waking up at 5 AM and sleeping at midnight started sounding normal. I did not realise when going to the school on weekends to work with your team for group work became usual. I did not realise when the book shelf in my studio was piled high with thick binders and heavy books. I did not realise when reading 300 pages everyday started seeming achievable. I did not realise when I actually finished an impressive amount of reading. If I collectively count the number of pages for all subjects I have read so far, then that is probably more than I read in an entire year before starting my MBA.

But you know what.... it is fun! I like it! Every moment of sitting in class, every moment of group work, every moment of reading micro and macro economics, financial accounting, statistics and managing across cultures.... I love it. Even when I crib, even when I tell my boyfriend in India that all this work will make me die early (he is a MBA so he thankfully understands), even when I don't get time to cook, even when I am too tired to update my blog, I am loving every moment here and I can see that I am changing as a person. My thought process, my stamina, my ability to cope with pressure, my social networking, everything has already changed drastically. And that is when I am only 1 month into my MBA!

To top it all I joined French classes here which will start on the coming Monday. I have no idea where in the world will I find time for studying French but I have still joined.
Oh and by the way, before my classes started, I managed to visit Amsterdam and Den Haag in Netherlands. Beautiful places would be a gross understatement for them. The canals of Amsterdam give it the romantic feel of a quintessential European city and Den Haag has these beautiful buildings and a mix of the old and new in Europe.

I have made some new friends. We are 90 students divided into 2 sections of 45 each in this year's batch. Among these 90 students we have 42 nationalities, so our class is one of the most diverse in the world. Conversation topics during lunches with my classmates include; Geisha in Japan, our upcoming trip to China, the integration of Europe after the second world war, Barrack Obama's political campaign, Mexican food, Life in Nigeria, the Australian boyfriend of my batchmate from Peru, French versus Dutch language courses, and other equally diverse and interesting topics.

I am sure that my year at Vlerick is going to be a life changing experience for me. No matter where I land after the MBA, no matter what job I get (or don't get!) the learning that I am getting here is immense. My only regret is that I am not able to blog regularly. Some of my classmates have blogs and they post every few days, although I don't understand where they find the time and energy to do it, but taking inspiration from then I will try to blog more often. I suppose that I am just not that great at managing my time.

I will post some pictures of Brussels, Amsterdam, Den Haag and Leuven in my next post!! :)

Shaken And Stirred

Here I am after a little hiatus! Some of you might have even forgotten me, but hey, I am still on blogosphere :)

During the past month my blog's first birthday came and went (25th July), my 26th birthday came and went (26th July), but I did not as much as post a 'Happy Birthday Dear Blog', one-liner post. Honestly, I am so drained out these days that I don't feel up to even a twitter-like post. Anyway, belated birthday wishes for my online journal.

'Happy Birthday Dear Blog. You mean so much to me' :D

You guys may wish too.

I celebrated my birthday for 2 consecutive days and to such an extent that I promptly fell ill with exhaustion on the third day. Late night dancing and partying with friends, bringing three girlfriends home to stay for the night, and then chit-chatting till the small hours of the morning. It was fun! Almost like engineering college hostel days, all over again. And then, a quiet homely party with family on the following day. I couldn't have hoped for a better start to another year of my life.

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Exactly 16 days are left for me to pack, shop, prepare, study, say goodbyes, etc. I am beginning to panic now. My things-to-do list has started appearing like a monster that is impossible to slay. The more tasks I finish, the more are added to my list. I actually have a to-do list that is growing bigger by the day.
I bought my ticket, bought a new laptop (HP Pavilion dv4), booked hotel and temporary accommodation in Belgium for 4 days, started my Statistics Course and did other stuff that I cannot even recall now. I read something about time somewhere long back, that how time goes by in lumps when we are in a state of high anticipation or excitement. Sometimes it seems like a large chunk of time just disappeared from my life and at other times, even few minutes seem very long. Yes, time is going by in irregular, unpredictable lumps.
Many a time, I notice myself saying and doing routine things like an automaton, because my mind is busy figuring out what is the next thing-to-do on my list. This is the first time in my life that I am marveling at the powers of habit. I don't need to think while talking to many people. I can give correct responses and expressions out of habit, keeping my mind on other matters all the while. And what's more, people don't even notice!

I will try to write another post before flying to Belgium, but going by the frequency of posts on my blog lately, it seems unlikely. Wish me luck folks, I need all of it that I can get :)

Oh, and by the way, the blog title has got nothing to do with drinks, as you guys might have figured out by now. It is about how I feel presently :)

A Fresh Beginning

I never thought that I would ever be too busy to post on my blog or to read posts of my favorite bloggers. It has happened now and I am not too happy about it. I started this blog last year and whatever crap I wrote here gave me immense satisfaction and an outlet to burst out. Moreover, reading blogs of unknown strangers (who I now feel I know since ages) gave me a sense of belonging. I am too busy to write posts and read blogs regularly now and it feels that some part of me is locked up and getting suffocated. I feel guilty when I don't post for long periods and then coming back to the blogosphere is even more difficult. It is like facing a close family member whom you have been avoiding since long.
I have lost track of what is happening in the lives of my blog friends and I feel left out. Is this weird? My blog friends would know, I guess.

A quick review of what I did all the while I was missing from blogosphere:
~I got my Visa (yippeee).
~I read MANY books, To Kill A Mockingbird, Rebecca, The Kite Runner, The Firm; to name some of them.
~I entertained guests and relatives at home. Many relatives came to visit and live with us for few days because they know I will be leaving soon for a long time. That was sweet of them. I had an awesome time gossiping, shopping, eating with them. I have gained a lot of weight after these visits and screwed my daily routine, but it was all worth it. I will miss them all in Belgium.
~I completed my French classes. Yes, sadly my French classes are over. My teacher can't continue for the next level so I have to now learn on my own.
~GO came back from US and I watched 2 movies (17 Again and Paying Guest) back to back with him again, after knowing that the last time I did that was a disaster. It wasn't so much of a disaster this time, except that Paying Guest is the most pathetic movie that I ever watched. By-the-way, Zac Efron looks cute in 17 Again.

It was enough to keep me occupied if you add it up with social networking, trying to read business related books and articles, and sleeping :)

I can see that life ahead will be even more hectic. My School has e-mailed a list of recommended pre-MBA reading and will make us take 3 online courses (Stats, Financial Accounting and Economics) in July. I have to shop and pack and generally prepare for going.

But, all said and done, I have no intentions of staying away from my blog, like I have been doing for some time now. I have realised that it is important to me, and I am going to make it a part of my routine. It is strange how we neglect many things, knowing that they hold a lot of value for us. Like family, friends, learning new things, and in this case, blog :)

It has started to sink in, now that the initial excitement is getting stale, that I am indeed going for at least 13 months. Away from people who care for me, food that I love, and the life that I am used to. It will be fun and a great learning experience, but I think it would also be difficult. All I have in my survival kit is my enthusiasm, passion (which I hope won't fizzle out too soon), common sense and intellect. I have realised that another survival tool is my blog, just rant here and it becomes easy to get along with things. More so, when unknown strangers (with blogs that I am only too familiar with) post comments that are all concerned, supportive, hopeful, energizing and considerate at the same time. I love my blogger friends. There comments are sometimes all that you need for a doze of energy :)

I changed my blog template. The new one looks fresh and professional, and goes with my present mood; to make a fresh beginning.

My Affair With A Romance Language

It has been long since I was on blogosphere and I admit that there were a couple of times since I last posted when I started writing but then just gave up. I blame it on multiple factors, but Delhi heat takes the biggest share of blame. I just hate this time in Delhi. The dry and scorching weather gets me into depression, and I should add here, that it really takes a lot to get ME into depression. Going outdoors is suicidal these days, even in evenings. The only places to hang out are malls, and it gets intensely boring to hang out exclusively at malls. With all my social life limited to Facebook and French classes, there was not much to talk about. Moreover, I was in a lazy, introspective phase.

I promised last time that I would blog about my French classes, as they are a lot of fun. They still are fun and I love my time there. The teacher is nice; she gives good material, and teaches well. I have two more students in class with me (both men), so it is a small and intimate class. We get many opportunities to laugh because we keep making silly mistakes that are at times HILARIOUS. One such instance that comes to my mind is of the day when Swati (our teacher) asked me to make a sentence that starts with 'Je voudrais...' (I would like...) It was our third or fourth class and I was still struggling immensely with vocabulary. I started to say something but the sentence that popped out of my mouth was "Je voudrais un bon homme." (I would like a nice man.) Shucks! That was followed by a shocked second and then peals of laughter from everybody including me. The other two students in the class specially laughed loud at that. Embarrassing, I know. But trust me, that's nothing compared to the mistakes that THEY make.

I think it's time to describe the other two students in my class. 'A' seems like a pretty boring guy and he is the one who struggles the most in our classes. It has now got to the extent where the rest of us feel he wastes the time of the class because he just doesn't understand things. Whatever job 'A' is doing, it keeps him busy in some health related seminars these days. He comes to the classes right after work, travelling from CP to Gurgaon. I appreciate his dedication, especially in this weather. He turned up a little late during one of the classes. We looked up as he entered the room to join us. The first thing that I noticed about him on that day was that he was wearing a big, round, red badge, which said "Loose weight now, Ask me how" in shining white letters. Before I could stop myself, I pointed to the eye-catching badge and asked him, "What is that?" His response, "Oh, I forgot to take that off after the seminar." WTF? He traveled all the way from CP to Gurgaon and then walked into the class wearing that. I wonder how many people asked him tips for loosing weight that day.

I call the other guy "My grey eyed Ipod" or The ipod for short (this nick suggested by GO). He has beautiful grey eyes but at times irritating manners. He sings really well, calls me nearly everyday, and hangs up only after singing me a song or two. I know it is funny, but I admit that I enjoy it. I mean how many men these days would sing you songs everyday when you are not even dating them (and nice songs at that). I know he is either too nice or too creepy and I am still trying to decide in which category to place him. He is doing well in class though and I enjoy talking to him, especially when he talks passionately of his career. Like me, he is going to start his MBA program soon but in Canada. He is intelligent, having completed his engineering from a good college and worked for a couple of years, he managed a great score at GMAT and then admission at a decent B-School. I am impressed at how informed he is about his field and at the amount of reading he is doing. From financial accounting to French vocab to oil fields in Canada, he has read up a whole lot. I am always impressed with well-informed people but at times, he intrigues me. He would at times say non-committal but suggestive things, which might mean that he is flirting. I give non-committal responses then but try to make it clear without being too obvious that I am not interested in any relationship or fling (or anything) at all at this point in my life. I just don't like it when men try to play it so safe that they stand neither here nor there; I think that's not being man enough. Of course, I might be wrong with the whole thing, it might be just premature alarm bells ringing in my head, and therefore currently I just brush aside such things and ignore. However, while talking, laughing, arguing, at every imaginable instant, I am watching him to try and understand where he is heading with all his talk (and songs!).

On a different note, I met my best friend Amit yesterday after more than a year and half. Although we could manage less than an hour with each other but it was totally great. I took him to TGIF (my favorite hang out) and we of course had LIITs. I haven't laughed so much in ages as I did in that hour. Friends always make you feel so good. Although Amit and I talk nearly everyday but meeting each other after that terribly long period felt really great. I am glad we could make it because in a couple of months, I would move to Europe and then I don't know when we would ever meet.

Ah! It feels wonderful, now that I have finally written this long post. I wonder why I was putting it off. There will be more to come and soon :D

I Am An Intellectual Originator

Last night I took a personality test at MyPersonality.info after reading about the test at many random places. I knew already that the test results often surprise people with their accuracy and I have to say that I was not disappointed. While taking the long test, I wondered how accurate it could be with such haphazard questions that people obviously answer in a hurry. But whatever the testing strategy is, it works.
There are 4 broad personality types and my results placed me in the intellectual category. No surprises there. I have held that opinion about myself since I was 3 years old :) Within the intellectual category, I was described as 'The Originator'. Here is a short review of an Originator:

Logical, innovative, curious and downright inventive. They see possibilities for improvement everywhere and possess the ability to understand complex concepts. They are introspective and carefree nonconformists. They often neglect the more common areas of life while pursuing new solutions. They can be good conversationalists and exciting company.
I loved every word of it :D

My personality type is basically the 'ENTP'. Let me decode it for you. It means that I am more of an Extrovert than Introvert, I am more iNtuitive than Sensing, I prefer to Think rather than Feel, and I Perceive more than I judge. I guess that pretty much sums me up.

The test was interesting and I feel it should be made a mandatory part of any person's CV.

PS: I am longing to write a post on my French classes as they are so much fun. It will be coming soon :)

Leonine Luxury

Ah! The joys of a manicure! I am indulgently staring at my fingers while typing. I am touching and picking objects gently and not grabbing at them, to make my nail polish last longer. Alas! Even with new and improvised beauty products entering the market every other day, there is still not a single nail polish that would last even for 3 days without chipping. Anyway, right now my hands are glowing and my nails are shining. What more could a girl ask for? Apart from some Mac products and spa trips and new clothes and.... mmm guess I am getting carried away :)

While getting my manicure this evening, I let my thoughts wander. I was thinking how much I love pampering. I know everybody does, but with me, it goes to another level. It has a healing effect on my body, mind, and soul. It makes me so happy! I think it has a lot to do with me being a Leo :)

Okay, people who don't believe in sun-signs are now rolling their eyes. Roll 'em as much as you want dear non-believer, but every Leo loves luxury and pampering, and that's as good as a fact. There might be just different ways of being pampered that work for different people, but scratch the surface and you find that need for self-indulgence in every Big Cat.

These days I am too much into it. I have a set routine (yes, I count that as indulgence), I wake up at 6 AM, I do Yoga, I meditate, I listen to soothing lounge music during my shower, I eat only fruits for my dinner, all of which makes me feel as fresh as a baby. My mind is so relaxed, my body feels so light and I am so peaceful that I do imagine being just-out-of-the-womb kind of fresh. Alright maybe a just-out-of-the-womb baby isn't that happy. I should say a-day-old-baby kind of fresh. I believe in getting my facts right :)

I want to clarify here that I am not a diet and fitness freak, neither am I paranoid about my weight, and I call myself a 'foodie'. It is just a phase that I am in, but now I am seriously considering making it my lifestyle. However, I also know that all this is possible because presently I have more time on my hands than I can waste without feeling guilty. Once I get back into the grind of work or studies, it would be nearly impossible to afford such luxury. This gets me back to the L-word. Yep, that's the L-word of my life nowadays :)

Psst: I succeeded in not mentioning Vlerick even once in my post. Yayieee!! :D

Life And To-Do-List

Life has suddenly become very busy. There are numerous things to do on my list and there is a deadline for everything. I came back from Kanpur on 12th and had an exam for my HR diploma on 15th. I have the next exam tomorrow but since 15th I have been busy with my registration at Vlerick. I met GO and his friends day before to catch up over drinks and dinner because GO is going to US for 3 months on a business trip. I will be done with my HR exams on 25th and after that, I have to rush things to get a loan and then apply for Visa. Meanwhile, I also have to join French classes (it will look good on my resume during placements next year) and keep learning until August. With all this work and the deadlines threatening to zoom past, I am also trying to keep in touch with my future batch mates at Vlerick. They are a nice bunch, all of them from varied backgrounds and age groups. I know only about the Indian admits yet, and hence I can imagine the kind of diversity we will get in the class once we are actually there. The Indian admits are all brilliant people and I am looking ahead to an intellectually stimulating and exciting time at Belgium.

I have to visit Parneet while she is in Delhi. Amit has promised to come to Delhi from Hyderabad before I leave, so I have plans to catch up with him too. Golly, I need to meet everybody in these few months.

Life is revolving around a 'To-Do-List' these days and I guess it is going to get busier and busier. I have heard and read about the horrid working and sleeping hours at B-Schools, and I think I need to prepare myself for the grind. Already, I feel that I have stopped thinking coherently. My thoughts all start with, "I need to ..." and a new thing-to-do is mentally added to my already miles long list. :(

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.11) I need to brush up my cycling skills. It has been years since I rode a bike and in Belgium people prefer to pedal down to wherever they want to go.

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.20) I need to do a lot of boring reading before I go. Business Reviews, Economic Times, Business Blogs.

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55) I need to learn all about Internet Marketing and professional writing. It might help me earn during my studies. Just an Idea :D

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.79) I need to reduce my sleeping hours :(

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.100) I need to stop needing rest :(

.101) I need to stop talking about Vlerick :D

Karma and Holi

A Very Happy Colorful Holy Holi To All

I am visiting my cousins in Kanpur for Holi this year, and although I have never in my life liked Kanpur, I am looking forward to celebrating Holi with my cousins. This will be my first Holi here and I have heard that Kanpur people go wild when celebrating the festival of colors. I have been singled out as today's target by cousins, brothers-in-law, nephews, and nieces alike. I know I am going to get a raw deal today :(

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My to-be-school Vlerick is constantly on my mind these days. It feels like I am infatuated with the school, and I am sure if there was any such thing as love with inanimate objects, then I would have called it the beginning of a love affair. Well, come to think of it, to my mind Vlerick is not at all an inanimate object. However, I don't want to go blah-blah about my school again because that is exactly what I am doing since many days and people around me now grab any nearby object to stuff it either in my mouth or in their ears, whichever is easier. I would just write about my love relationship with Vlerick :)

In February, I first saw its name on the 2008 Financial Times rankings and because it was in Europe, I visited the college website. It was simply love at first sight. The college campus was beautiful and the city even more so. The various stats about the college were very impressive and I knew that we were meant to be together. I had a fair idea that my chances were bleak considering the reputation of Vlerick in Europe. I nevertheless decided to give it a try. It was tough, the application, the essays et all, but the path of true love is never easy. I submitted the application and waited for some days with bated breath (just figuratively), praying throughout and asking my friends to pray for me. I think that Gods were kind and I came to know my results in 6 days flat. I am the only person out of those admitted who had the results in that unbelievably short duration. For everybody else it took more than 2 weeks. I made it, I have been accepted by my love and I can't wait for our new life together. The latest FT rankings just gave me more reason to rejoice, because Vlerick jumped up by 22 places (now ranks 75 in the world), which makes it the fastest moving-up-the-ladder school. I have to now complete the registration process to legalise our relationship and then Vlerick would be officially mine. We will live together from 1st September.

Give this couple your blessings :D

Alright, so I just demonstrated my insane infatuation but so what!

The News

Although I am very ill and tired at the moment, I still feel euphoric. I have been speaking almost non-stop for the last 2 days, which has made my tonsils swell and has resulted in a mild fever, but I never felt better in my life.

Dear Blogdosts,

Thank you all for your kind comments on my previous post. You all encouraged me no end and I am very happy to share now that I have received the much-awaited offer from my dream school, Vlerick Leuven Gent School of Management. I still can't believe that I really made it to one of the top 100 B-Schools in the world. As far as I know, I am the only girl selected from India as yet, 4 other Indian guys have been offered admission, and I believe there will only be 2-3 more Indian admits.

I have been running really busy since last 2 days. On 3rd March I went to Noida and met Priya, GO and a college friend whom I had not met since ages. I came back home late and tired and checked my mails to find a mail from Vlerick, informing me about the offer. I screamed, yes, I did. I told Mom and then Dad and then called friends and since then I am talking incessantly to friends and family and narrating the whole story to everyone. Nothing less would do! On 4th, that is yesterday, I had a wedding to attend, where I again met many family members who got to hear the entire history of Vlerick from me. That much of talking has its disadvantages, and I am now struggling to recover from a fever and pain in my throat. I never before realized that I gulp more than once every minute. I now know, because each time I gulp, I close my eyes and do it in slow motion, else the pain seems almost unbearable.

Anyhow, these last few days have been very eventful for me and I am not complaining :-). Thank you guys for your good wishes. I think they really worked for me. The session begins September 1 and I am really looking forward to it :D

Fingers Crossed

I am sorry about the sporadic posts, but this was one time of my life when I started hating the activity of writing.

I was applying to a very reputed, very prestigious MBA College in Belgium and as a part of my application had to write '12 essays' to let the admissions committee know more about me. It took me a week to write those essays and to finally hit the submit button on my application and I think that there's nothing left about my life that the adcom won't know now (except my love life). I wrote and re-wrote those essays because I am dying to go to that school, and totally exhausted myself in the process. After doing the final add-a-comma, delete-a-word thing on my essays, I reviewed my application again and to my horror discovered that if I want to apply for a scholarship I have to write another essay building my case. This was new for me; I have applied to 2 colleges so far and at both places all applicants are automatically considered for scholarship. I was not prepared for it and by now harbored a severe contempt for writing essays. I opted, and I still can't believe it, to not apply for the scholarship. I don't know of anyone who does not apply for a scholarship and I think the adcom would think of me as being the richest young female in India, which I am not :-(

Anyway, that was the reason I was not posting on my blog. I wanted a break from writing but it's nowhere to be seen in near future. I have decided to apply to another college, which is in Spain. Although they ask for only 2 essays, but I have to write nonetheless. Therefore, I gave up trying to avoid writing, and returned to my blog. By the way, I also want to ask all my blogdosts, whoever would read this post, to pray for me to get an offer from the B-School in Belgium. I am already so much in love with the school, despite its weird name, Vlerick Leuven Gent School of Management. I told you it's a weird name. However, it is the IIM-A of Belgium, being among the top 100 MBA colleges in the world, with a 1-year MBA that includes a residential program of some weeks at another reputed school in China :-). The only problem is that the average student at Vlerick is almost 30 years old and has 5 years of work-experience. I am counting only on my GMAT score, my diverse profile and my gender to make it to the school, yeah; they try to maintain a female strength of 40% in their very small class of 65 students from around 30 countries. I could go on and on about the positives and I have not even started talking about how good a place Belgium is, with the world's biggest brewery (InBev) having it's headquarters there :-)
Please Please Please pray for me to make it. I am applying to other European colleges too but Vlerick is the place where I really want to go. After writing those 12 essays and taking 8 days to submit my application, I am obsessed with Vlerick. My family silently bears with me while I blabber non-stop about what a certain Indian alumni had to say about Vlerick, what the Director of the Vlerick MBA said to me when I met him while he was in Delhi, what I wrote in my essays and blah blah blah. I would be heartbroken if I don't make it, even though I am very late in applying and I am stretching my chances too far at such a reputed college. But I don't care how far I am stretching my chances, I just want to go there.
Keep watching this space for updates on whether I made it or not :-)

An Outburst

Is it usual human behaviour to get irritated at the drop of a hat and take it out at people who love us? Or am I the only arrogant, ungrateful, selfish, insensitive, big-mouth around?

Love scares me. Not the family kind of love, but the friends and boyfriends kind of love. I used to think until around 3 years back that I am incapable of loving someone wholeheartedly, with devotion, submissiveness, with no other feeling but love for the other person at all times. Then somebody came in my life and that kind of love did happen. It was sheer bliss; being totally, incautiously, head-over-heels in love. The feeling was new for me and I revelled in it. However, I now think that that kind of love is probably unhealthy because love takes so much priority in life that every other thing is overshadowed. Moreover, plausibly that kind of love scares the other person. Even after so much love (or maybe because of it?) that relationship did not work. I am single for almost 10 months now and I am comfortable with this single status. Nevertheless, unplanned, unintended and surprising new relationships are always waiting for you around the corner. The thing is that I am back to where I was 3 years back. I feel I am incapable of loving someone without reserve. I am too practical now to be in love, and the shortcomings and drawbacks of the relationship are glaringly visible to me. Even the shortcomings of the other person. I keep telling myself that nobody is perfect and probably I am more imperfect but, I don't want these shortcomings to be visible to me. Love hides such things, ain't it? Such unwanted details are glossed over when you are with someone you love. I have been in that kind of love so I know. Now these small discomforting details are a little too visible to me and I just can't stop myself from mentioning them to the other person, much to his dismay and discomfort. Therefore when I feel that the other person really loves me, it scares me. Loving somebody when that person can't love you back is still less painful than being loved by someone whom you can't love back. It hurts you, makes you feel guilty, makes you try hard, and at the end of it all trying never helps. I want the other person to be practical like me, I encourage him to point out my shortcomings and that of the relationship, so that I may not feel so guilty about being cruelly practical but he, being so much in love, can't see any. He even tries to justify those that I point out. It makes me wring my hands in irritation and makes me say things that I don't really want to say. He is still sweet as ever, utterly unconvinced about the impracticality of the relationship, and I feel more guilty, more irritated. It's like a vicious circle. I don't want to hurt but I end up doing exactly that. I don't want to be very practical, but I end up being exactly that.

I have heard this question many times that is it better to get married to someone whom you love or to someone who loves you. I have always heard girls saying that it is better to marry someone who loves you because you are always made to feel special. Still I can't convince myself about that. I think that won't work for me. I feel it is far better to be with someone you love, even when the other person does not love you so much in return and when it hurts like hell, than marrying someone who loves you, then hurt him when you try your best not to and then feel guilty about it. Being hurt is still better than feeling guilty. What is your take about it?

Of Drinks, and Cigarettes, and Books

Okay, so last night I went out with my cousin Chummu and had two cocktails and five cigarettes. I needed it, the break I mean; the break from monotony. Yesterday I tried a Gin cocktail for the first time; usually I am a Vodka or Wine person. To tell you the truth, I could hardly tell the difference between Vodka and Gin. Probably because the Gin was mixed with other things to make my cocktail. I wanted to have more drinks but did not, since we had to come home later and I did not want Dad to suspect that we had been up to some mischief when according to him I had taken Chummu to check out an awesome new Pizza place.

Last night was fun. I smoked for the first time and smoked five cigarettes in a row, which later made me feel that all my innards are on fire and that my intestines have turned to ashes. I have tried to smoke twice before but could never suck it in. Last night I managed to achieve that feat and in amazement mixed with a sense of achievement stopped only after five cigarettes and when I had started feeling queasy. However, I am not going to have a smoke again, never. I had a very disturbed sleep last night because of those five bloody cigarettes.

Anyhow, I and Chummu had a sort of reunion yesterday. It had been a reeaallly long time since we talked like that. It was good, everything, the drinks, the gossip, the sleeping together, even those cigarettes in some way. I also had a talk with GO (My George Orwell) after having my drinks and cigarettes, and it was fun too. I giggled a lot while talking to him. Usually I don't giggle, I laugh. Was I flirting? Naaah. GO is an old friend, I can't flirt with him after all these years. I don't think so!!! However, I know I usually am a big flirt after a couple of drinks. But no, I wasn't flirting with GO. Oh well, I sense some confusion here :-)

Oh, the best part of last evening was that I bought two books. GO was after my life to read Nineteen Eighty-Four, so I finally bought that and another GO-recommended book, in fact his favourite, To Kill A Mockingbird. That makes me a rich book lover for sometime. I and GO have plans of catching up this Saturday. Its been a long time since we met, so GO would drive all the way from Noida to Gurgaon to meet me. That's sweet of him, ain't it?? :-)

Poetry And Me

I have been writing poems since the age of 5. I even distinctly remember where the first inspiration came from. Although I don't have a great memory and I often forget many incidents that others around me remember in detail, but I remember this episode. That is because I have a very selective memory. I remember things, people and incidents in great detail if they matter a lot to me. Anyhow, so this incident somehow has remained intact in my head. The image of a 5 year old, skinny and laughing girl, watching TV with great interest when what the only channel has got to offer is a 'Hasya aur Vyangya Kavi Sammelan', yeah that's a gathering of poets who pride themselves in humor and satire. I don't know how it caught my 5 year old fancy but immediately after the program that was what I wanted to do. I told Mom that I wanted to write poems and she laughed and said that I could when I grow up. I never had the patience to wait so I just gave it a try. Writing poetry in English never occurred to me back then. The obvious choice was Hindi because I had watched the Kavi Sammelan in Hindi, and although my vocabulary in both English and Hindi was very limited at that time, I was still more comfortable in Hindi. I remember my first poem was more like a song and it was something about dancing flower buds :-) In fact since my Mom collected a lot of my poems for many years, I had the opportunity to read that poem numerous times in the coming years and every year it embarrassed me more than it did the previous year. I won't even dream of putting it down here :-)

So I kept writing poetry in the years to come and I always wrote of things that I saw in nature; flowers, snow, water, wind and sometimes there was an occasional poem about fairies or people. My family was proud of my poetry, all of my poems rhymed perfectly and I read my poems on a few occasions in the morning assembly at school. On one big occasion during the time when Uttaranchal was still a part of Uttar Pradesh and the people of Uttaranchal demanded that it should be a separate state, there was a gathering of several poets from Uttaranchal who wrote and read their poems in front of a big audience. I had the privilege to be a part of that gathering and as the youngest poet I read one of mine too. It was about the state of Uttaranchal and I had written that only because I was asked some days back to write something for the occasion and not because I had any real feelings on the subject. I was too young to understand why we should have a separate state and had to think hard before writing the poem. Anyway, I did write that poem, read it before the audience and accepted their applause. Incidentally, I don't remember any of the poems of other poets who were present there, some of them were well known writers too. In fact I don't remember anything else about that evening except that I read a poem before a big audience and then rushed back from stage to my Mom sitting in the audience. I was in 8th or 9th standard at that time, not too young but somehow my memory fails me about the other happenings of that evening.

However, the poetry writing spree was abruptly stopped when I studied in 10th. I had a big accident and in the aftermath a big loss that nobody including me noticed for a long while was that I had stopped writing poems. A couple of years later I tried but I couldn't. I thought that it was just a childhood thing and I had now grown out of it. But it seems that poetry is too much a part of me because it resurfaced many years later and this time in English :-) I don't write great poems, in fact I feel embarrassed in sharing them with many people, so they lie dead in my laptop. And I don't even write that often now, only when I feel so full of some emotions that they cannot be expressed in any other way, I write a poem to let them out. This happened when I started writing a post on December 11, the only way I could write on that day was in the form of a poem although it was very unstructured and effortless. I composed directly on blogger and edited very little and thus happened my first poem after years that was written for anybody to read.

Yesterday I read a poem on one of the posts of The Unsung Psalm, which was beautiful. I started writing a comment on that post and what came out were few lines that started with the last line of the poem that he had posted. I like the lines that I wrote and would post them here too

I do not die

I just live on

To see what you do

When I am gone

Would you feel me

In the morning dew

Or forget my touch

In days too few

Would you hear me

In the gentle rain

Or would I call you

Just in vain

Would you know

That I caressed

Or would you be

Forever unimpressed

When The Unsung Psalm asked me where those lines were from I paused to think before replying that they were out of my own head. I read the lines again and again to decide whether they were any good but then I decided that good or bad, they were mine and I liked them and I would not abandon that poem as an orphan that belongs to no one and yet exists. Hence, I replied that they were mine and therefore I am putting them here on my blog too. Good or bad, they are mine :-)

The Year That Was

2008 is finally nearly over and am I glad? Well, yes I am. This was one year which was neither entirely good nor entirely bad but was too good and too bad in spurts. Come to think of it my whole short life till date has been like that but this year was a bit too much. It was a year of surprises, shocks, new beginnings, sudden endings, success, failure and everything being utterly unplanned.
I will list down major events of this year in chronological order and reminisce, so that I can breathe a sigh of relief and look back at the rollercoaster ride that this year was and pat my back to congratulate myself for surviving.

January- I visited Mumbai for the first time in my life and stayed there for a month with my brother. Yeah, I had never been to Mumbai before. Although I come from a family of travel freaks and I have been to nearly all places in India from Jammu to Kerela to Goa to Kanyakumari to Kullu to Jaipur to Mysore, and the list goes on, but I had never been to Mumbai. It was a good start to the year.

February- My best friend NV got married on 24th February in Kanpur. Although this is a major event of her life and not mine but when your best friend gets married it results in a lot of changes in your life too. For starters, NV moved to Hyderabad from Noida to live with her husband and this meant that I had to lose my favourite company. I did feel lonely, a lot.

April - The big break-up. Needless to say it left me shattered. Particularly because of why it happened and the way it happened. Enough said.
On 21st April, that was just 2 days after my break-up and the day I exchanged a last hateful sms with my ex, I went to US for a 20 day trip. The trip had been planned hardly a month back and I was naturally very excited about it, until the break-up happened. I lost all willingness to even exist let alone to go on a vacation. I had never imagined that my first overseas holiday would happen in such disastrous circumstances that I would have no interest or inclination towards it. Even just before stepping out of the airport in New York, I had not realised that I was on a long-awaited trip for which I was insanely excited until a week ago. However, the trip turned out to be a really needed break for me and took me away from the sad scene in India for sometime.

July- I decided to prepare for GMAT and started my blog just a day before my 25th birthday. Both the decisions turned out to be very good.

September- Dad joined a new company in Gurgaon on 1st September and Mom and Dad moved to Noida to stay with me. It was a great thing to happen for many reasons. I have always lived a pampered life when it comes to money but this new job of Dad pays him mindblowingly well because he works as the topmost executive of a very good company. This ultimately translates to the fact that I live an even more lavish life now :-)
Another fact is that, my parents moved in with me at a time when I needed them most. I was very lonely after NV's wedding and my break-up. There were other friends but they were not enough. I needed a stronger emotional support and I got that from my mother. Moreover, I could prepare for GMAT without worrying about what to cook for the next meal.

October- I took the GMAT on 25th October and got a really good score of 680. Although I had hoped for more, this score was enough to carry my MBA dream forward.

November- I found a consultant and took TOEFL. I was taking little baby steps forward towards my goal. I was excited and worked hard which gave me immense satisfaction. We also moved to Gurgaon from Noida on 7th November. The new home is BIG, beautiful, comfortable and rich. Plus I left my Noida flat which was full of memories, some horrid some good but I wanted to run away from all memories for sometime. My Noida flat is empty these days, empty because nobody lives there but it is still full of old furniture and old memories. It had become too cramped for me, the memories took up too much space. This was a good month.

December- I lost all steam for MBA, simply because the application process is too long to hold my interest. Although I got my TOEFL score and it was a fabulous 115/120, it wasn't enough to fuel my engine which has turned cold. I am still working on it but it's just because I have got myself so involved that i can't back out. Moreover, this is the only sensible thing to do right now. CARRY ON.

Now that I look back I can see that there were more good things and few bad things that happened this year. However, the bad things took the charm out of every other good thing. It was an year full of a lot of emotional turmoil and upheavals. It somehow seems to me that this year was a year of changes. Changes that are preparing me for the future, and changes are always painful even when they are for good. Well, I really hope that they are for good.

I am eagerly looking forward to 2009. If 2009 was a person, I would have welcomed it with big banners and flower garlands and smiles :-)

What I Have Been Doing All These Days

The holiday season is here and I am in the holiday mood for nearly a week now. I don't want to work at all :-)

I completed my application to Maryland Smith on 15th because it was the last day to apply. My Spanish classes are going on really well. I have taken 5 classes and learnt a lot of Spanish vocabulary. I now know what does Bailamos mean (remember Enrique's famous song?), it means 'we dance' :-). Meanwhile we celebrated Dad's birthday on 19th. It was a nice and cozy family get-together that included a lot of good food, a lot of laughter and latest family gossip. The following day, I took my cousins to a nearby mall where we played video games and tried a game each of Bowling. I have improved since last time, my score wasn't too embarrasing :-)

These days I am frequenting websites of cosmetic brands like Mac, Body Shop, Urban Decay, Sephora etc. Three of my friends are coming from US soon and I intend to mail them each a shopping list, so that they can get me some really good products. I had a chat with NV the other day on webcam and she showed me her entire shopping. I was visibly green with envy and she was delighted with my reaction. She has bought some fabulous boots and sandals and cosmetics. She showed me each lipstick and nailpaint that she has bought, even though the reds looked like black on webcam. I squinted my eyes to make out the shades but couldn't, so had to trust her claim that they were amazing.

Anyhoo, NV looks like she can have the baby anyday now, infact her doctor has advised her to be prepared. It seemed to be an unreal experience looking at her obviously pregnant shape. NV has always been the kid of our group and now she will soon have a baby. Its still difficult for me to digest this fact, even after more than 8 months of her pregnancy.

I was never so thankful of being on Orkut as I am now. I found a long lost friend with whom I have not been in touch for 22 years. Yes, and I am only 25 now :-). Her name is Shany and she was my first best friend and neighbor. Our families were very close, infact Shany's Mom taught my Mom how to cook south-indian food. Her elder brother and sister were very close friends to my sister and we have spent a great time together. Shany's brother found us on Orkut and we are all back in touch after 22 years. It's amazing how much we remember about each other, Shany remembers more as she is 2 years elder to me. She is now an architect working in Dubai. I cannot describe the feelings I had when I saw pics of Shany and her family, it was beyond nostalgia. She is engaged to a handsome software engineer from Bangalore and would soon get married. I already have plans of going to Shany's wedding although the date has not yet been finalised. Shany still looks the same, plump cheeks and dusky complexion, sweetness etched all over her face. We have been catching up on mails, we have a good 22 years of catching up to do. I am glad she has grown up to be a fun loving and totally chilled out girl. She told me of her entire love story with her fiance and I was in splits when I read that story. Wow, its great to know Shany all over again after all these years.